What Does Being Natural Really Mean?

Hey Curlies! ❤

So, this post is all for those that like to read LOL. I say that because I notice many people really just skim through and don’t read the information.

But since you’re here!

I want to chat about what it means to be natural! The natural hair movement is HUGE. So with that, there is a TON of information out there, some being truth and others opinion. From observing and chatting with several women, I’ve learned that MANY are confused on what being natural is. I hear the phrase…”when I go natural..” a whole lot. So I thought I’d break it down!

What does being natural really mean?

– Being natural means you do not have any chemical on or in your hair to alter its natural curl pattern.

For example: Relaxers, perms and texturizers are chemicals applied to the hair to change a person’s natural hair pattern.

A relaxer is a chemical that straightens the hair and alters the natural hair texture. A perm is a chemical that curls straightened hair to make it curly. And a texturizer is a chemical that loosens tight curls.

YES!

you are still natural if you straighten your hair. Just because you wear your hair straightened does not mean you are not natural. You don’t have to rock a fro in order to be natural. AS long as the only thing that is straightening your texture is heat and not a chemical, honey you’re natural!

YES!

you are still natural if you wear a weave. If your NATURAL hair is braided underneath, why in the world wouldn’t you be natural? All a weave is a protective style. Honey you’re natural!

YES!

you are still natural if you dye your hair. It IS a chemical….and this is where it gets tricky. Dye for many naturals does not affect their curl pattern unless it is bleach and done unprofessionally. Dye CAN alter your curl pattern, but that does NOT mean that it is the same as a relaxer and a texturizer. You are not INTENTIONALLY trying to change your curl pattern to be something that it is not. You are simply enhancing your hair. And you can do that with dye or with henna.

Let’s consider a transitioner…

When a woman has a chemical on their hair such as the ones listed above, and chooses to go natural she either BIG chops where she will cut all of the chemical areas of her hair off or she will transition. Transitioning is simply growing your chemical and processed hair out by wearing styles like twists and bantu knots, braids outs and protective styles until the hair is all ONE texture..natural 🙂 This is a journey to being completely natural and an example of what “going natural” means…

Now, many have opinions about this.

Some think applying heat all the time doesn’t make you natural. Some think dyeing your hair doesn’t make you natural. Some think only wearing your hair in natural hairstyles makes you natural. It’s all on what you’ve researched and concluded…really. We talk about transitioning to being natural. One transitions from a relaxer to natural. From chemical to natural. It’s a process. Being natural takes a lot of work and commitment no matter the texture. Being natural, means incorporating a regimen. We have regimens because our hair needs attention to be able to thrive. Without a regimen our hair would be HORRENDOUS! LOL! Being natural means being YOU, embracing and wearing your kinks, coils and curls. Loving and caring for your hair the way God intended for it to be. There is NOTHING wrong with changing up a style by wearing a wig, a weave, some color…that’s fine! But, being natural is wearing your hair in it’s natural state, chemical HAIR ALTERING free. SO! If you believe coloring your hair falls into what I just said, then that is your opinion. I’ve colored my hair MANY times and my curls have NEVER been affected, and I believe I am a NATURALISTA! LOL!

Overall, being natural is being you….naturally 🙂

Do you agree or disagree?? What are your thoughts?

Until next time! XO!

Love,

Rayna

FOUR Steps I Did That Helped Repair My Damaged Hair!

Hey Curlies! ❤

There are four things I did during the time when my hair was at its worst, that helped it get to its best! I had damaged hair from dying and heat damage, mainly heat damage. My bra strap length hair was thinning and my curls were lifeless. I researched and learned about these steps to incorporate into my regimen to help repair the damage. However, not ALL damage can be repaired. The only way to get rid of severely damaged hair is to cut it off. Sucks, I know. I chose to do a semi big chop for my damage hair cutting my hair to my jaw and then did a year of no heat. BUT! Unless your hair is TERRIBLY damaged, you DO NOT HAVE TO DO A BIG CHOP. If your hair is slightly damaged it can be repaired by showing your hair MAJOR TLC such as these steps below. Here are the 3 things I did that got me to where I am now!

1. STOP ALL HEAT. Point, blank and the period.

I’m forreal.

2. Use A Reconstructor!

A reconstructor is a product that helps repair damage that’s been done from heat styling, relaxers, and chemicals. I had a ton of heat damage. I used these reconstructors to help with repairing my damage.

– Aphogee 2 Minute Reconstructor

– Dudley’s Hair Rebuilder

– Macadamia Deep Repair Masque

2. Protein Treatments!

Protein treatments are great for filling in gaps in the cuticle which helps to strengthen and repair hair. Protein treatments really helped my hair!

– Aphogee 2 Step Protein Treatment

– Nexxus Emergencee

– Mayo and Avocado

3. Deep Conditioning!

Deep conditioning is so essential to putting moisture back into our hair. Dry hair breaks, hair that is moisturized flourishes. Deep conditioning helps with repairing and strengthening damaged hair. Dry hair breaks, moisturized hair flourishes!

– Shea Moisture Superfruit 10-n-1 Renewal Mask

– Olive Oil Replenshing Pak

– Crème of Nature Deep Conditioner

– Pantene 2 Minute Moisture Masque

PLEASE make sure to follow the directions for a reconstructor, usually it’s done 2x’s a week. For protein treatments usually 1x a month or 1x every 6 weeks. And deep conditioning can be up to 2x’s a week. Incorporate these three steps and nurse your hair back to life.

It took me from 2011 until 2013/14 to get healthy hair and my curls to act right, if you will. I had trims and a shape/cut in between as well. So please, have patience…don’t give up!

Consistency & Patience!

If you’d like you can purchase ‘happycurlhappygirl’ t-shirts here! www.happycurlhappygirl.spreadshirt.com 🙂

Until next time! XO!

Love,

Rayna

Do You Really Need To Know Your Hair Type??

Hey Curlies! ❤

 

Now…

As I’ve been exploring natural hair more and more and following amazing naturalista’s, I’ve come to the conclusion that MANY natural women think hair typing is unnecessary. Some swear by it, but what I’ve noticed is that a lot of women are either unaware, don’t care or totally against it.

See…growing up, I was told that I couldn’t or shouldn’t use any type of product that wasn’t intended for “Black Hair”. I remember at the time, lines like Pantene and Garnier and so forth were frowned upon by certain women because they thought that it only catered to women with straight hair. I remember products like Blue Magic (my mother never used that, lol), Luster’s and Johnson Products, Ultra Sheen Hair Grease and so forth. Many Black mother’s purchased and used these products on their children. We had the mindset that grease was what we needed to keep our hair moisturized and help it to grow.

But, come to find out…people BARELY use grease now, due to being educated on mineral oil and petroleum and understanding that water is for thirsty hair and not grease. We also found out that, hair care lines such as the ones listed above CAN work just as well as “black hair care lines”… it’s all about preference!

 

I really believe that knowing your hair type can help with understanding your hair….

Hear me out…lol. No, I don’t believe that you should know your hair type to a T, but I do think you should know what category you fall in. Just with anything, categories CAN help with understanding and guiding us for future aid.

Let me explain why…

The higher the hair type, the more you’ll know how to care for your hair. The tighter the curl, the more likely your hair will be dry. The more likely you’ll know what will work for your hair and what won’t. You’ll understand, in my opinion what product will help your hair and what may hinder it. You’ll even understand how much heat you can put on your hair just by knowing your hair type!

Some 3(a-c) to 4(a-c) categories tend to need more moisture because the curl is tighter and makes it difficult to stay moisturized. Your regimen may change due to being aware of what category you fall in. Because my daughter is 4a, I know that her hair tends to suffer from dryness more so than mine. I use the LCO and LOC method on her hair to combat dryness and incorporate moisture. She suffers from shrinkage more than I do, which is expected of 4a hair. Curls are tighter and can require different hair care techniques and products than someone with a looser curl pattern….or a woman with 2c or 3a hair. However, for my hair I no longer use the LOC method because co washing and deep conditioning treatments are more effective for me. Because my curls are slightly looser than my daughters hair, some of the products I would use on her hair can weigh my hair down. For instance, Shea Butter is great on my kids hair, however not so much on mine.

When researching on natural hair, you will come across blogs, and videos that talk about hair types in their posts. Knowing and understanding a little something about hair typing can also help you understand what they’re referring too as well.

Just like with anything, things are categorized! Some fitness trainers will categorize you by blood type, or body type to determine what meal plan will be beneficial to you. Learning and understanding these categories MAY be very helpful in getting the results you want. Why should hair typing be any different??

 

In a nutshell:

The beauty with natural hair is that not every kink, coil and curl are alike. Either way, knowing your category of hair types may be helpful in narrowing down how to care for your hair. It’s NOT imperative to know your exact hair type. But, it is very HELPFUL to have some knowledge as to what category you fall in.  🙂

I have a post on how to find your hair type…if you choose, you can find it here!

Do you know your hair type? If so, what is it??

Thanks for listening.

 

Until next time! XO!

Love,

Rayna

 

 

I’m On Youtube!!! Ahhh!

Hello Curlies! ❤

Please excuse my lack of posting, life has happened as we’re all so familiar with! I hope you’ll forgive me. But, besides that…ya girl’s on the YT, also known as Youtube! CRAZY! Lol. I used to have videos in 2009-2010, but deleted them back then like a dummy. But, I’m so grateful for all the love and support I receive and the encouragement to do so, I finally made a video! I plan to make more and more as well as continuing to blog.

One thing I ask of you…

PLEASE watch, comment, LIKE and subscribe! I will super appreciate it!

Also…

Please let me know what you would like to see via youtube, it’s important to me to show what people want to see. I’m a wash n’ go gal, so it’ll be different venturing outside my comfort zone! Lol. I’d love any suggestions on what to do different in my next video, as this was my first time. 🙂

Without any further adieu!

My Wash n’ Go Routine!

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/happycurlhappygirl

 

Thank you beauties so much for watching!!

Do you have a Youtube? I’d love to subscribe and check you out!

Until next time! XO!

Love,

Rayna

Why Is My Hair So Dry?! 10 Reasons Why Your Hair Might Be Dry & Solutions to Help Fix It!

Hey Curlies! ❤

As we know, dry hair breaks and moisturized hair flourishes. When our hair is dry, there are always reasons as to WHY. Lol, I didn’t mean to rhyme. (I’m corny, I know) So let’s look deeper into the reasons you may be suffering from dry hair…

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 Problem no 1.

– You’re not hydrated.

Simply you’re not drinking enough water! Yes, it’s crazy how that actually affects our hair! Drinking enough water also can aid in hair growth! Water hydrates the body which nourishes your hair follicles which in turn stimulates growth! Staying hydrated is key not just for our hair but for our overall health!

Solution: Drink more water! I try to drink a gallon a day. I definitely notice shinier hair and softer hair when I stick too my gallon of water!

Problem no. 2

– Using shampoo’s with sulfates.

Yes, we already know how terrible sulfates are for our hair and skin. They are EXTREMELY drying and when considering a shampoo, we should find a shampoo that says “Sulfate Free”. I truly believe in shampooing your hair AT least twice a month.

Solution: Find lines that offer “sulfate free” shampoo! Some lines include Shea Moisture, Carol’s Daughter and Crème Of Nature. Stick with shampoo’s that say moisturizing.

Problem no. 3

– Build up.

– Clarifying is like resetting your curls. BUT YOU MUST FOLLOW UP WITH A DEEP CONDITIONER! Build up on your hair doesn’t allow for moisture to penetrate your hair shaft, in turn making your hair dry. Think of a raincoat. A raincoat is protecting you from the rain, not allowing any moisture in so that you remain dry. Build up is the same way 🙂

Solution: Clarify once a month to ensure your hair is cleansed from product build up and dirt that co washing and sulfate free shampoo’s may or can leave behind. Reset your curls!

Problem no. 4

– Not using water based moisturizers.

– Water is our friend. It is THEE most moisturizing ingredient needed before any “moisturizing product”. Your moisturizing product MUST have water as thee first ingredient to combat dryness. Products with MINERAL OIL and PETROLEUM that state moisturizing usually are not. These ingredients coat the hair shaft making it “seem” like your hair is moisturized but these products do not penetrate your hair shaft.

Solution: Every moisturizing product should ALWAYS have WATER as the first ingredient! Don’t always trust what it says on the label, the ingredients will tell you the complete truth.

Problem no. 5

– Not sealing with an oil AFTER moisturizing.

– Moisturizing is GREAT and essential for healthy hair, however…water evaporates. So, moisturizing but not sealing in the moisture is what can be causing our hair to be dry.

Solution: Make sure to implement sealing every time you moisturize! Natural oils are excellent for sealing in moisture like Sweet Almond Oil, Jamaican Black Castor Oil and Coconut Oil. I use Sweet Almond Oil for sealing in moisture, it’s light weight but effective!

Problem no. 6

– Sleeping on a Cotton pillowcase.

– Cotton soaks up moisture. Pillowcases and scarves that are cotton are drying!

Solution:  It’s smart to protect your hair while you sleep as well ensuring that no moisture is being stripped from your hair. Satin and silk pillowcases and scarves are ideal!

Problem no. 7

– Not aware of your Porosity level. Check my previous post on Porosity here!

Solution: Take a porosity level test!

Knowing your porosity level can help in how you moisturize your hair PROPERLY. “There are a couple of simple tests that you can do to find out your porosity. These tests work best on clean hair, as the results will be more accurate: Take a strand or two of your shed hair and place them in a bowl of water. If the hair stays, your hair likely has low or normal porosity. These porosities are considered to be the porosities of healthy hair. If the hair sinks immediately, or gradually sinks within a minute, the hair likely has high porosity. Again, though fast absorption might seem ideal, the hair will lose that moisture just as quickly, resulting in dry, brittle, and breaking hair..” – Curly Nikki

High porosity – Hair may be damaged. Protein treatments may be needed to strengthen the hair. Making sure you implement proper moisturizing.

Normal – Usually healthy hair, keep doing what you’re doing!

Low porosity – Hair soaks up product and does well with heat for deep conditioning.

Problem no. 8

Using too much heat!

– If you don’t know by now, HEAT IS THE DEVIL, AND THE DEVIL IS A LIE! Lol. Forreal, heat is super damaging and drying to the hair.

Solution: Try to cut out heat and see how much your hair flourishes! I did a year of no heat and I was an AVID heat user, so you can do it!

Try cutting heat for 3 months…then 6 months…then 9 months…and before you know it, it’ll be a year!

There are ENDLESS heat free styles to try and fall in love with while you detox your hair from heat! 🙂

If you MUST straighten, check out the sss plates here. These plates help to straighten your hair with NO HEAT!!

Problem no. 9

– Harsh weather.

– Harsh winds, dry air and even some humidity can affect the hair causing it to be dry.

Solution: Incorporate deep conditioning treatments, properly moisturizing your hair as well as even some protective styling to help with keeping your hair moisturized!

Problem no. 10

– ONLY using butters and oils for moisturizing.

– Don’t get me wrong butters and oils are great! But used in the wrong way can make your hair dry! Butters and oils are excellent for sealing. If your hair is dry and you slap on some thick shea butter and oil you’re sealing in the dryness.

Solution:  Always use a WATER based product THEN an oil or butter for sealing that extra moisture!

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Thankfully there are things we can do to help with dry hair. It’s finding out WHY our hair is dry. Once we do, address the issue and work our way to healthy moisturized hair! 🙂

 

Until next time Curlies! XO!

Love,

Rayna

 

 

 

To Diffuse or not to diffuse?

Hey Curlies! ❤

I’m a wash n’ go kind of gal and I always diffuse my hair! Diffusing gives me volume, makes my curls tighter and sets my style so that it can last for days and days. If I air dry my hair it’s flat and it takes a FULL day for a complete air dry, and ‘ain’t nobody got time for that!’ lol. I discovered a diffuser years back watching Taren Guy on Youtube. Many of you naturals know exactly who I’m talking about. I ran out and purchased a diffuser attachment from my local beauty supply and never looked back since. HOWEVER! A universal diffuser attachment compared to an actual hair dryer that comes with their own attachment is ideal. I get better results with my diffuser and I lucked up and got mine from Big Lots for $20. I’ve dropped it SEVERAL times by accident and have used it for awhile and it’s done me well!

Now…

What is a diffuser?

– A diffuser is an attachment for your hairdryer uniquely designed to enhance curl definition and body by distributing heat evenly throughout your hair. Diffusers also help prevent heat damage. – CurlyNikki

How to diffuse?

– After wetting your hair and applying your favorite leave-in conditioner let your hair air-dry 50-60%. This will allow your natural curl pattern to form. If you normally have to scrunch and manipulate your curls to create a pattern begin using your diffuser earlier. The diffuser’s bowl-like shape and prongs aid in the formation of a spiral curl pattern creating tighter curls. The tightness of the curl depends on how close you hold the diffuser to your scalp.

Flip your head upside down. Begin diffusing at a medium-low heat, starting at the crown of your head to prevent that dreaded flat top from happening. Keep the diffuser there until your hair is dry. For even more body, massage your scalp and roots using the prongs of the diffuser. This will have a sort of teasing affect on the hair. Occasionally, check your curl pattern to ensure your curls are not too tight or too loose. Adjust the diffuser accordingly. Keep in mind, diffusing can take some practice. There are still days when I don’t do it right so be patient and give yourself a chance to really master the technique. – CurlyNikki

Tip: Before diffusing try to wait 30 minutes or so..this will help your hair to set and get a little bit of drying time taken off your diffusing time. I also like to get a 100% old cotton t shirt and wrap my hair up to soak up more water and excess product.

My wet curls…

The diffusing process…

Air dry hair is flat…

My diffused curls… 🙂

After diffusing…

Now, unfortunately I get crunchy curls. BUT! You can eliminate this…I make sure to use my COOL SHOT button which will close the hair shaft locking in moisture and eliminating frizz. I then detach my diffuser attachment and use my cool shot all over which give more fluff and allows me to also make sure my hair is completely dry!

I take Sweet Almond Oil and I apply it from root to tip scrunching the crunch out and fluffing for my volume. I then section my hair and taking my diffuser off, I begin to STRETCH my hair using the tension method. You can read about stretching natural hair for wash n’ go’s in previous post….here.

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 AIR DRIED to DIFFUSED! ❤

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So the question is…to diffuse or not to diffuse?

– Obviously that’s up to you! I would definitely try it out a couple times before making your decision. When I first diffused I hated my results! It wasn’t until I kept using it and learning how to use it properly. It takes me about 20 minutes to fully dry my curls. Stretching adds another 3 minutes, fluff and go!

Remember! What works for one natural may not work for you! Natural hair is all about trial and error! ❤

Are you a diffusing type of gal or an air dry type of gal?? Any suggestions to getting good air drying results? Let me know!

Until next time Curlies! XO!

Love,

Rayna

Calling All My Wash n’ Go Gals: Here’s My Favorite ‘All Natural’ Curl Refresher!

Hey Curlfriends! ❤

Clarification: I get many questions about my hair…my hair is naturally curly and I wear it in a wash n’ go #TeamWashNGo Lol! I do not twist or braid my hair because I hate waiting for them to dry LOL…I use my choice of a leave in (it varies), then Eco Styler gel on wet hair and I rake the gel through each section from root to ends. I then will follow up with a sealant (almond oil), diffuse on low heat high speed, fluff and go. I usually can get about 5 days depending if I work out or not. 🙂

In my Steve Harvey voice: Well! Now that we got that out the way..

Lol. Ok…

 ALOE VERA JUICE!

If you’re anything like me, then you know how hard it is to find a good curl refresher! Now, let me explain. When you wear your hair in a wash n go, like I do…after the 3rd and 4th day my hair begins to get dry. I don’t have the time nor do I want to re do my wash n go again, so I choose to “refresh” or reactivate my curls. Some of you lucky naturals can use JUST water and be fine. NOT I!!!! Lol. Water makes my hair frizz. So, I’ve tried curl refreshers from natural hair lines and honestly, it just wasn’t worth the money because it didn’t do ANYTHING for my hair.

It wasn’t until I found out through research about Aloe Vera Juice and ALL its goodness and how great it is for a curl refresher. Went out and bought mine at Sprouts (I believe it was under $10) and tried this bad boy and I literally screamed with a “yaaaaaaaassss”, while admiring my curls in the mirror. It did the job so of course I had to share! Especially for any of my curlies out there who struggle with finding a refresher to not only moisturize but to keep that wash n go going as long as possible!

Here are some benefits of Aloe Vera Juice…

•  It’s conditioning: There are about 20 Amino Acids in the aloe vera that help to promote strength and luster for our hair. The structure is very similar to that of keratin! Aloe vera juice soothes the shaft as well.
• It breaks down dandruff: “Because of the aforementioned enzymatic breakdown of dead skin cells from Aloe Vera, this awesome plant has also been used for the treatment of dandruff.” – OGC
• It’s anti-inflammatory: Not only internally but externally too! Aloe Vera helps to calm irritation and sensitivity on the scalp. Itchy scalp? Try Aloe Vera Juice!
• It promotes hair growth and reduces hair loss: Because Aloe vera helps to retain water and moisture, that allows for our hair to stay moisturized and not dry out. Dry hair breaks, moisturized hair flourishes. Aloe Vera helps to break down clogging agents in the scalp which help to increase hair growth by stimulating the hair follicles!

There are so many added benefits to our overall health, definitely try it if you haven’t!

Tip: Mix your aloe vera juice with a little bit of water in your spray bottle. If you have some essential oil, feel free to add a couple drops and keep your mix in the fridge. Spritzing your wash and go with cold water helps to smooth and close the cuticle and locks in moisture while giving you a great shine! 🙂

 

What do you use to refresh your curls? Let me know!!

 

Until next time Curlies! XO!

Love,

Rayna

 

 

 

My 14 Favorite Hair Products of 2014! Happy New Year’s Eve!

Hey Curlies! ❤

2014 is alllllmost over! Can you believe it?! Check out my favorites of the year!

1. My beloved Eco Styler Gel! (Beauty Supply, $9.99, 32oz)

– Y’all already know so I don’t have to go into details about how much I love this gel. This is my HOLY GRAIL styler. I use this for every wash n go!

2. Camille Rose Naturals Curl Maker! (Target, $19.99)

– I now use this for refreshing my curls when they get dry and frizzy! I still love it, but because of the price I try to save it for when I really need it. 🙂

3. Queen Helene Royal Curl Moisture and Rich Conditioner! (Sprouts, $7.99)

– LOVE for a deep conditioner! It doesn’t have much slip but boy does it leave my curls hydrated! This stuff is great!

4. Lily of the Desert Aloe Vera Juice! (Sprouts)

– Not only is this stuff VERY healthy for your body it also does wonders for your hair! It helps with closing and sealing your cuticle giving moisture and a great shine. It’s an excellent curl refresher!

5.  Sweet Almond Oil! (GNC, $8.99)

– This oil is great for sealing my curls! I love it because it’s light weight and it gives off an amazing shine!

6. Trader Joes Nourish Spa Conditioner! (Trader Joes, $2.99)

– I. LOVE. THIS. STUFF!!!!!!! It is amaze balls!!! It never fails me, ever! Point blank and the period! All natural ingredients…just awesome!

7.  Shea Moisture Organic Coconut & Hibiscus Curl Enhancing Smoothie! (Target, $9.99)

– I stand by my Shea Moisture products! They are all amazing. I love this because it’s so thick and moisturizing. Will forever be a customer to this line!

8. Cantu Shea Butter Cleansing Sulfate Free Shampoo! (Walmart)

– This shampoo is great for cleansing my hair and scalp without stripping my hair. It’s sulfate free and I love how it makes me hair feel after cleansing!

9. Paul Mitchell The Conditioner! (Beauty Supply, $23.99)

– Thee best leave in conditioner out there! Hands down! I love this stuff. So moisturizing so effective! A little goes a long way! Love it.

10. Macadamia Deep Repair Masque! (Target, $16.29)

– The best deep conditioning masque out. Period.

11. Aussie’s 3 Minute Miracle!

– Cheapest deep conditioner I know and love! Definitely a must try, you’ll be hooked!

12. Hawaiian Silky Miracle Worker 14-n-1!

– I used this when I first cut my curls and stopped when I found out about Eco Styler Gel, but I revisited this product and I still LOVE it. It’s great for a moisturizer and promises so many things (14) in just one bottle!

13. Aphogee Two- Step Protein Treatment! (Sally’s, $7.99)

– I love this protein treatment because I get INSTANT results!!! My hair feels soft and STRONG. It’s important that you FOLLOW DIRECTIONS. I stick by this because it does my hair sooo good! It does SMELL, but the results are worth it. Protein treatments are essential every 6 to 8 weeks or when needed.

14.  Aphogee Curlific Texture Treatment! (Sally’s)

– Love this stuff! Excellent for repairing damaged curls and elasticity issues! I love the whole line!

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Well you guys…thank you for reading and supporting my blog! I started this blog in October 2014 and I’m amazed at how much its grown! I’m thankful for every follower, reader and supporter. So much in store for the new year and I can’t wait to share it all with you beautiful people! Have a blessed NEW YEAR! God is good!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

Until next year Curlfriends! XO!

Love,

Rayna

A Black Man’s Point Of View On Natural Hair…

Hey Curlies! ❤

What do Black men have to say about Black women and their natural hair?

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Meet Omnid and his lovely wife Meme!

1. Tell me your name, your age and a little bit about yourself!

My name is Omnid Benzi Dowell. I am a 29 year  old proud husband and father. My wife is 29 and my daughter is 9 years old. I majored in Business management at Arizona State University and I currently work in the finance industry and have been for the past 10 years. One of my favorite attributes of my wife is her hair and the variety of things she does with it.

2. Natural hair is very popular and many women are becoming natural, how do you feel about that?

I think Natural hair becoming popular is great for not only the African American community, but for all races. It shows there is more to hair than a perm. Often times people of color were looked down upon because our hair isn’t always naturally straight. Now more people are realizing that having only straight hair limits the variety of hair styles you can do with your hair. Natural hair also seems to be more healthy and opens the door for a person to change their hair style every day.

3. Is your significant other natural? If so, for how long?

My wife has been natural all her Life. There was a point of about 1 year she put chemicals in her hair because she cut the sides really short and it required her to put perm on just her sides. That ended about a year and a half ago and she cut out her perm and let her natural hair from back on the sides.

4. Do you prefer a woman with natural hair or straightened hair?

I don’t really prefer one over the other. As long as a woman’s hair is DONE is all that matters to me. My wife sometimes will still wear her hair straight but only with some heat, no chemicals. I believe that still counts as natural hair right? My wife doesn’t stay with one hair style longer than a month. To keep one hair style is boring to her and she loves to change it often. As long as her hair is in a style I LOVE IT. Even if the style is a small Afro.

5. Do you have any dislikes about natural hair? If so, what are they?

 I have no specific dislike about natural hair.

6. As a black man, can you tell us a few reasons  why some black men don’t want their women to go natural?

Most times a man doesn’t like natural hair because they don’t see the many different things you can do with natural hair. Most men don’t know about hair or hair health and when we think of natural hair we think of short curly or nappy hair and that’s not always desirable by men.  Just as much as women love long hair we do as well. When you think of natural you don’t think of long hair. However as Natural hair gets more and more popular people are starting to notice that natural hair helps your hair to grow longer.

Also there is a fear that your woman won’t do what is necessary to maintain the up keep of natural hair. Most young men (21-39) do not want their natural hair woman to get lazy and only wear a fro every day because she is “NATURAL”. A fro here and there is okay but not ALL THE TIME.

The other reason some black men don’t want their woman to be natural is because they all dream of their woman looking like a Video Girl or Hollywood Star. Because Hollywood portrays the standard as long straight or wavy hair, most men want their woman to look the same way.

7. How do you feel about your significant other going to bed with a head wrap, satin bonnet or rollers in their hair?

Since I’m usually the one who pays for my wife to get her hair done, I encourage her to wrap her hair or do whatever is necessary to keep her hair from getting messed up in her sleep. However, sometime during our intimate moments ill take that wrap off lol. But if she has in curlers I’m just out of luck. But I do understand that’s what it takes to maintain certain hairstyles.

8. Can you name one thing you love about natural hair?
I love the uniqueness it offers. No natural hair style is the same because everyone’s hair grade, thickness and texture is different. Even if 2 women attempt to get the exact same style it will look different.

9. What’s your favorite natural hairstyle on a woman? (Braids, wash n go, twist outs etc.)

My favorite natural hair style is the curly Mohawk.

10. As a black man what advice would you give a woman who’s significant other doesn’t like their natural hair?

Show your man a variety of natural hair styles on a few women in a magazine or on the internet. Find out which ones he likes. Then don’t mention it again. Wait a month and then pick the natural style he likes most and let your hair dresser do it for you. Come home and ask him if he likes it. Don’t give him and forewarning just do it. He will most likely like it since he liked it in the pictures you showed him. That will help him like you with natural hair. If that doesn’t work, the night you get the new hair style give him the BEST night of his life. Tell him the hair bring a whole new side out of you. Lol One of those things have got to work!

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Thanks Benzi for sharing your views on Natural hair and showcasing your beautiful wife and all her unique and beautiful natural hairstyles! I appreciate you for being a part of my blog!

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Follow Omnid : @mrdowell818

Follow Meme : @1124meme

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If you would like a feature showcasing your natural hair story, PLEASE email me happycurlhappygirl@yahoo.com. I would love to have your story and beautiful photos of you and your natural hair on Spotlight Fridays! XO! 🙂

Check out my previous post on “What To Do if Your Man Doesn’t Like Your Natural Hair!” here!

Until next time Curlies! XO!

Love,

Rayna

 

Natural Hair and Conforming to Society’s Standards…

Hey Curlies! ❤

The natural hair community has grown and has really taken off and showed many women that being themselves (natural) is where it’s at! Learning to love and embrace your hair no matter the stage and no matter the texture is such a beautiful thing. For so many years, Black women were taught to “change” themselves and conform to the ways of society. I can remember going on an interview and making sure I flat ironed my hair before. Because of where and what the job was, I knew or felt it was important to “look” how they would want a Black woman to look, if you know what I mean. Before I found out that I landed the job, I got some individuals because it was the end of Summer and I wanted something different and was completely tired of doing my hair. I then got a call from my manager saying that I was hired and she wanted me to start in the next few weeks. The very FIRST thing that popped in my head was that I was going to have to take my braids out because of the location and the type of job that I would be going into. Like, that was the very FIRST thing that I was “worried” about…that is sad! It shouldn’t matter that I had braids, it shouldn’t matter if my hair was flat ironed, but I felt it did. I would be working along side of lawyers, entrepreneurs and business executives I just knew I wouldn’t be taken serious with some “around the way” braids, lol. But, I paid for my braids a few weeks prior so I was going to work as is. Tuh. I figured if it was such an issue my manager would notify me, and she didn’t. I felt out of place with my braids, and I felt like I needed to conform to how people expected me to look. I even had an issue with a Caucasian man making stereotypical comments to me which made me feel so uncomfortable and had to tell my manager to talk to him. I was the only person he talked too differently, and it was on a whole other level of ignorance! I simply wanted respect and not to be treated any differently because I was Black. And I thought my hair would imply to them what “type” of Black woman I was. Sad, but this was my truth….back then.

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I said that to say, I LOVE where we are as Black women with our natural hair. How much we’ve grown from creamy crack (relaxers) to showing out with our wash n’ go’s, our twist outs, our locs, our braid outs, our fro’s and our braids… it’s just so awesome to see a ton of Black women in the workplace and everywhere you see being themselves, naturally. That natural hair is so respected by so many cultures that even relaxers are going out of business! LOL! Unfortunately at that time, I didn’t feel that way about my natural hair and I allowed myself to feel as if I had to conform to be taken serious and accepted. After all, I was one out four Blacks on the floor and the youngest. I did a report in college on Corporate America and Black hair and studies have shown that many women and men are asked to change their hair because it is considered “unprofessional”. So, I know for a fact many women are not allowed to be themselves. And that’s sad. But I love seeing women come out and be proud of the way their hair grows out of their scalp, and not allowing their insecurities to show forth but allowing their natural hair to shine forth. It’s sad how America is so threatened by our uniqueness, strength, intelligence and beauty that it impacts OUR way of thinking as well.

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So this blog post is dedicated to every Black woman who was told by their mama’s, aunties, uncles, grandma’s, great grandma’s, boyfriends, husband’s, home girls, bosses, and ETC., that their natural hair wasn’t as pretty as their flat ironed hair, or too kinky to be cute, or asked to wear it straight, or told they look better with straightened hair….I want to let you know that your hair is be-you-ti-ful! It doesn’t matter the stage, type or length…your hair is beautiful because it’s growing out of your scalp and YOU are beautiful. Never conform to the standard of what society believes to be beautiful. It may be difficult if you’re new to this journey but like anything it takes patience and time. If you want to lose weight you have to begin to change something’s in your life like eating better, exercising and giving it time before you see results. That’s the SAME thing with natural hair. If your hair has been so used to always being something that it isn’t *clears throat* like  straightened, then it’s going to always revert back to being straight and will not curl up as . It takes time to learn your texture and what products and what techniques and what not to do before you see results. It took me a good 3 years before I got it right and I’ve never had a relaxer. So I can only imagine someone transitioning! But, trust me when I say it gets better!!! DO NOT GIVE UP ON YOUR HAIR JOURNEY!!! Stay the course because with anything it’s always worth the hard work in the end! Do not conform to this society’s standard of beauty, your curls are amazing, your waves are spectacular and your kinks are all that and a bag of chips!

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Now, (flips hair) with that said, I know some people have to conform because of their job or they want to make significant other happy…and by the way read my blog on what to do if your man doesn’t like or support your natural here. But anyway, I understand that sometimes you have rules to follow and if that is your job where you’re asked to not wear your hair a certain way then by all means pay your bills. I hate that you have to go through that. But, my thing is not feeling as if you have to change yourself to be accepted, like I did back in the day. Be encouraged and know that you’re made in the image of God and He took His precious time on you and your curls and He never makes any mistakes!

Merry Christmas to ALL and to all flourishing edges and moisturized curls! 🙂

Until next time Curlies! XO!

Love,

Rayna